An old row
by QuietlyFlailing
Summary: Elsie really had wondered if they were getting too old for a good row.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N So I like many was inspired by the first episode of the new series so here is the result of my musings._**

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Elsie's mind was racing after their row. It had been a while since they had engaged in such loud and emotional argument in months. The death of Matthew Crawley had somehow put a dark cloud over the house and Mr. Carson had become more and more subdued as he watched Lady Mary retreat into herself. She had not managed to rile his temper since that day. He did not seem to care about anything except his precious Lady Mary. Elsie would not dare say she was jealous but she had missed sharing the left over sherry or a cup of tea with him at the end of each day.

She could not understand how he would not see her point of view: she had only wanted to help him and see what was upsetting him. It was not like he never stuck his nose in her business when she was not willing to tell him herself, she may not have confronted him directly about it but she was not angry with him. He had the unique skill of being able to raise her temper like no one else. She quietly made her way to her pantry, telling Anna that she would be working in there for the rest of the day in case anyone needed her. There was a time when Elsie found having a row with Mr. Carson exhilarating, it was the one thing she counted on to make her feel young and energetic but those days seem to have slowly disappeared into the shadow that lay over the house. The sadness had eaten away at the youthfulness she had felt reconnected with after her health scare. Mr. Carson had gone from a man who had sang for her good health to a cold and distant colleague who could not see her point of view and who was unwilling to engage with her with any emotion aside from disgust and, even thought she would never admit it out loud to anyone who dared ask, it broke her heart.

She spent her day mending a hole in one of Mr. Carson's dinner jackets, poring over the accounts and examining the menus for the next few weeks. It was tiresome work but did not stretch her mind enough to distract from the guilt that was creeping in. She did not regret her reason for doing what she did but she was starting to feel terrible about how she went about it. He was just so frustrating sometimes. There was no way he would have told her what was wrong otherwise and she couldn't just sit back and watch him being unhappy. He had an awful habit of keeping things to himself and it scared her to think of his health taking another turn for the worst.

A knock at the door broke her reverie.

'Come in'

Anna came in with a dinner tray.

'Mrs. Patmore was not happy that you would be missing dinner so she sent me up with some sustenance'

Elsie managed a small smile.

'Thank you Anna, you can just leave it here on my desk. You better go back and enjoy your dinner. I've still a few more hours of work here.'

'You better make sure and eat it all cause Mr. Carson said to make an extra potato was added cause he knows how much you like them.' She smiled a shy smile and was gone.

_What a strange comment._

She ate with a surprising zeal, hadn't realised how hungry she had gotten. She really did enjoy her comfort food. She was able to return to her files with a newfound energy until another knock came to the door.

'Come in'

The interruptions were getting distracting. She looked up to see Mr. Carson standing before her and taking her tray.

'Mr. Carson, that's not your job, you should have sent one of the maids up to get it when they were free, and there is really no need to trouble yourself'.

'Don't you worry yourself Mrs. Hughes; I wanted to check you had eaten your meal and were not working yourself too hard. I hope you will be up to discussing some matters further at the end of the day in my pantry when we've both had some time to think things through.'

And with that he was gone before she had time to even properly answer him. She was left thoroughly confused by the whole thing.

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**_A/N So what do you think? I would love to hear feedback from you and whether or not you think this is worth continuing. Thanks :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I post this as the fandom seems to have gone into meltdown on tumblr. I can't wait to watch the new episode myself tomorrow but it looks there was a lot to inspire more stories.** **I do want to say thank you for all the lovely reviews and an extra special thank to everyone who is following this story. It is a lovely surprise when people like a story enough to review it so thanks.**

She listened with dread as she heard the last of the footmen joining to their rooms. She had gotten none of her remaining work done since he had left her. She knew it was silly to fret so much about talking to him but the day had led to her becoming more and more embarrassed about her actions. She stood by them, of course, but she regretted upsetting him. She was sure it was just her age finally getting to her that she did not get as excited by seeing Mr. Carson in full flight of any emotion with her. She was the only one who could get to him but now she just felt bad about it which was thoroughly unlike.

As she watched the time tick by, she knew she could no longer put it off. She quickly checked herself in the mirror, without thinking but she would have felt weird not doing that before going to see him. Her eyes were faintly red-rimmed betraying the tears that had fallen but if asked she would just put it down to tiredness. When she went out into the hall, she saw the light flickering out from under the door to his pantry. She made her way over to his door, cringing intensely at her own cowardice and the fact that each sound of the creaking of her foot fall on the wooden floor made her heart rate speed up to an embarrassing level of nervousness. She took a moment to gather to her thoughts before knocking on his door, a habit that she had long abandoned yet it felt like something she had to do tonight. She felt lightly confused by the silence her knocking was greeted with until the door was opened causing her to stumble forward. She put out her hand to brace herself and was caught by his strong arm around her waist.

'Are you alright, Mrs. Hughes' Mr. Carson's concern rang through his words.

She tried to calm her flustered nerves by brushing away the imaginary dust from her dress.

'Yes, I'm fine now; you caught guard, Mr. Carson. Thank you for preventing my fall'

They both stood awkwardly for what felt like a very long moment, she could tell he was breathing as heavily as she was, she really didn't know what she should say next, luckily he finally broke the tension.

'Um, shall we take a seat Mr. Hughes? I've been thinking about my behaviour towards this morning and I feel like an apology is in order.'

She was startled and stood on the spot rather than joining in sitting. It gave her a rare vantage point of looking down at him.

'But Mr. Carson, It is I who should be apologising; you were right about how despicable it was of me to go through your rubbish' She began pacing the room in front of him 'I mean I really had no place sneaking around you even if I did think it was for your own good.'

'Mrs Hughes' she turned, startled by the interruption and the fact that he was now standing with his hand on her arm. _When had he stood and he is holding my arm. _He noticed her gaze resting on his hand, he considered removing it but didn't.

'Maybe it is best we agree to disagree or at least agree that we both made a mistake and move on from it'. He had meant to add _as if nothing has happened or changed_ but didn't. It was because something had changed. That something was the reason he was still holding her arm. That something was why he was staring into her eyes and then watched the blush rise to her cheeks. That something was why he had spent all day cursing his behaviour towards her that morning and that something was why he lowered his lips to hers for a gentle but cherished first kiss.

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She stared wildly as he bent to kiss her. There was a stillness that surrounded her. She didn't know what to do but when his lips met hers she couldn't think. She found herself grasping at the lapels of his jackets, almost in fear that he would pull away and apologise again for his misjudgement. She had never been kissed so thoroughly in all her life. It was almost like those kisses she had read about but far from feeling weak at the knees, she felt empowered and energised. The tiredness of a day spent fretting of misplaced words washed away from her as he put his arms around her waist.

He pulled back from as they both attempted to catch their breath. He wanted to say something but didn't know where to start; thankfully she was the first to break the exquisite silence.

'I spent all day worrying about you and running over the conversation we were going to have. This hadn't exactly come into my mind as a possible outcome' they both laughed. It was a laughter that betrayed his sudden sense of nervousness.

'Maybe we should sit down and talk a little first, Mrs Hughes'

'Perhaps but only if I can still hold your hand as we sit beside one another. Oh and I think I would prefer it if you called me Elsie'

'I think I could allow for some hand holding, Elsie' Oh she did like the sound of her name on his tongue. 'And I think you should call me Charles'

'I'm more than happy to Charles' The sound of her rolling the r was music to his ears.

**A/N So what do we think? Shall I end it here or will we listen to their plans for how to continue?**


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